Struck with confusion,
Confused why a child would.
Yet understanding,
Understanding why,
Why a child would feel this way.
The way the pressures pile up,
Pile up until it crushes you,
Crushing you believe your nothing,
Nothing if your not perfect.
I've never really tried to write a poem before because I'm really not that creative but here was my attempt. I guess it's a little easier to do it if you have something to kinda look at for inspiration.
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Bravo, Courtney! For a first attempt at writing poetry, I think you've done a great job! Here are a few specific parts of the poem I think are really effective. (1) I love the repetition of words, such as confusion/confused and why a child would in lines 2 and 5. This repetition, how each line pulls the next one along, really gives the poem a sense of urgency, a sense of momentum.
(2) I also like how the poem shifts from 3rd person (starting with "a child") into 2nd person (ends with "you"). Again, by switching to "you," a sense of urgency and intimacy is established. The only line I find a little confusing is line 8. Do you mean "crushing you [until] you believe you['re] nothing" here? That's how I understood the line, but I wanted to be sure that's what you meant.
I think this really captures the theme of Piercy's poem. Nicely done...maybe you'll try writing a poem again?
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