Lorrie Moore's "How"

The story "How" explores the narrators relationship. In the beginning it is discussed how the narrator will meet her love interest. At the start of the new relationship the narrator is describing how her new guy will be.

"He will have perfectly cut hair. He will laugh at your jokes."

The next paragraph discusses how the narrator would feel at the beginning of the relationship. The "honeymoon" phase. She says "Feel discovered, comforted, needed, loved, and start sometimes, somehow, to feel bored."

The last part of that quote "... and start sometimes, some how, to feel bored." Now leads the reader to believe that the narrator is falling out of love with the man and next will come a break up or at least a fight. But instead the next few paragraphs are about the narrator and he boyfriend moving in together. The narrator makes the excuse that they are moving in together because "rents are high". But then she also admits that is is because this man has become her family and in some way she really is in love with him.

It seems through this part of the story that the narrator is just going through the normal motions of being with someone. At first they are your perfect mate and then eventually you do get bored and frustrated. You also make more commitments to each other, like moving in together, and meeting each others families. The next part that is a little out of the ordinary is when the narrator meets an actor and talks about having an affair and also her mate contracts a kidney problem and she is forced to deal with that problem as well.

While the "medical unpleasantries" are being taken care of, the narrator says "Once a week you will feel in love with him again." This shows that although the narrator has thought (or actually) cheated on him, she still does care about his well being and even talks about rubbing his back when it hurts and listening to his kidneys at night wondering if he might die.

At this point she knows she can't leave him because he is having health problems so she goes out and has another affair. After a night out with her fling, she comes home and makes love to her boyfriend and seems to be disgusted in herself. At this part she seems to start treating him bad again, trying to push him away. She says she leaves the house with a sink full of dirty dishes, knowing he will be the one to wash all of them. But clearly she knows what she is doing is wrong because she says that while she is at work she is very distracted, so distracted that her co-workers seem to notice.

In the end, the narrator comes to the conclusion that she must leave him. She says to "take him out to dinner." After wards she says that while lying in be together she tells him she is going to leave. He make look upset but he is not surprised. When he asks why you are leaving, make sure you tell him it is that you don't love him. To wrap the story up, the narrator leaves the man.